Burn Out

As 2012 comes to a close & we look back on this past year, one thing seems to be very much in need.....a complete burn out of this phoenix. 2012 was a year filled with many hardships for me starting back on January 1st & I'm coming into the last of the year the way a cartoon character comes into the finish line.....face in the dirt, ass in the air, tears streaming from my eyes & inches from the finish line. 

This year I have had 6 surgeries, I have been bloated out from meds, gained 25 pounds, lost my once in a life time job at Disney, lost the ability to successfully continue my culinary job in a high paced kitchen, had all sorts of health issues & money is once again non-existent. I have spent endless weeks on the couch sick or in pain. Even morned the loss of my dear pet. We've had to deal with ceiling that continued to leak after being fixed & countless mishaps to go along with it all. 2012 just hasn't been a whole lot better then 2011.

There have also been some wonderful moments throughout the year as well. Although I haven't been able to work, I've luckily had some insurance money to fall back on to help out. When I was sick for pretty much all summer, I got to spend part of it watching the Olympics with a good friend cheering on America's athletes. I got to play with my whole family twice this year. I got some of things done on the condo & its looking awesome. The whole time all of the bad was happening, I still had the best partner in the world. He always cared, always helped & always loved me! So there was good amongst the bad, just a lot of bad.

 

I have been thinking A LOT about the my current phoenix. I burnt out back in 2005 & gave rebirth to the phoenix that became a chef. Prior to this one, was my performing artist phoenix. Both allowing me to fly to great heights & I soared pretty damn high each time. So I am neither scared of a complete change, nor do I fear that I can't do great as that new phoenix. As I look back, it just makes more & more since that it's time for a burn out & very much time for a new rising! So I am getting ready now for a change into the new me. I guess I'm just too big of a fish to stay in a little bowl...so here's to a new me & greater 2013!

Dear Santa....

 

This year I have been doing my best to be a good boy. There are so many things that I'd like to have under the tree.

 

 

Here are just a few things that I'd really like....

 

 

Lots of snow!! Not the freezing cold kind...but the soft wafting kind....

 



I want songs of the season sung loud as if the angels themselves are singing for us....

 

I would love to have a Christmas Tree filled with the colors of all the seasons....

 

 

I wish that we not forget the meaning for the reason of the season....

 

 

 

Above ALL else....I wish everyone LOVE....

 

 

Not just a little love but hearts so full of love that it turns stone to sand & bad into pure joy.

 

This is my Christmas List this year.

Big Golden Moment

Just the other day, I was sitting on the couch with my honey. We had music going in the background as we chatted away about anything & everything as we usually do. At some moment it dawned on me that I HAVE to give myself another Gold Moment!

I shattered both my left wrist & left ankle in a life changing auto accident 19 months ago. I was on 2 different pain killers at max dosage just to help me get through the day. As time went on I was still having terrible pain in my ankle & was put on an additional pain killer to help with the intense nerve pain. I had 6 surgeries within a year, so add in all the pain killers for those. Due to my Prostitus, I have spent 7 months on antibiotics alone not including all the other reasons I've have to be on them. I even got my first root canal this past summer. I've literally, at times, had to write down which med I was taking when or else I'd really have been messed up.

Emotionally...I have handled blow after blow after blow. I have had to stress like crazy about what work was going to do with me to the stress of now what to do after they've dropped me. Going from being on top of the Disney culinary world to not being hired because I'm a liability. I've had endless nights of me staring off into the ceiling worrying about cysts & cancers & blood tests & outcomes & pets & even loss. I'm constantly facing emotional obstacles that truly RIP & TEAR at the soul! I mean just as you think you've hit rock bottom...you find that it was only a bump on the way down & the ground that you just landed on is only a thin pane of glass....

Yet.....thru ALL THIS CRAP.....I have not one new addiction! I can honestly say that I have NOT found refuge in a bottle of meds NOR in a bottle of alchol NOR in a gun!!! Even against my own Sun Sign Pisces, thank heavens I am also a Dragon (read the opening blog for a refresher). I soooo very easily could have, just like SO many others, taken a dark path that I might not have been able to come out of. Instead.....I have kept my head up! I had a ton of love & support from the most wonderful of people...which kept me plugging forward. I have some of the HUGEST role models right within the family...guiding my way.

So I proudly take this Gold Moment! I will be glad to say that I did it & without any escapism other then my own creative mind. Matter of fact, because I am being partly forced into it, I am that much more driven to start my own business! There is also a HUGE Bonus gold point for being able to quit smoking & have stayed smoke free now for 1 year & 7 months...during all this!!!!!

 

To Heaven...Fly Little Ones

Again....a MOST POINTLESS lose of many beautiful lives!!!!

Today......even the heavens weep for the lives lost in the Conn. school....




 

May God Bless the families who lost a loved one & may God carry them to the heavens so they can continue to dance & play!!

The Oddest of Sweet Cakes

Ok....so we all know by now that I'm looking to start up my own cupcake shop. We also know that I've been dreaming cupcakes for awhile & constantly come up with new ideas. WELL......here are a few odd ones for your consideration.....

Salmon Moose Cupcake

Double Chocolate Bacon



Okra Cakes



Tomato & Baked Beans

Sauerkraut

Fried Chicken

Caramelized Onion & vanilla bean
 

And last but not least....

 

 

Scorpion Cakes

Soooo....what do you think?!?!

Dreaming Into Reality

Now that it's December & almost the end of 2012, one looks around & wonders.... where has the year gone?! Life has continued to swiftly move forward while I'm still struggling to keep up. What money I did have is dwindling away faster then cookies & egg nog go through Santa! I have been applying for jobs for some time now. I've submitted resumes for everything from culinary to clerical, all to no avail. See I'm still dealing with all of the after shocks from the accident & unfortunately it's all been working against me...BUT that's a totally different story for a different day.

Since early October, I've been having dreams of cupcakes. Yes....still! Each time I mention my dreams to others, I'm told how great of an idea it is. People actually seem to get generally excited & ask a lot of different questions. I've also read up on dreams & their meanings. With re-occurring dreams, "you" should probably pay very close attention to what's being repeated in the dreams, to how you feel when waking up from them, & to how often you have them because it all indicates that it's highly mentally important to you. The "cupcakes" side of the dreams has lots of different interpretations, but when breaking the dreams down, the "cupcake" is most likely my mind finding something that I CAN do & would enjoy!

Now I've been doing a lot of different research on cupcake businesses & surprising enough...it's actually a pretty good idea. Cupcakes have become more & more popular in replacing cakes for parties, gathering, meetings & even weddings! Food Network even has a show called "Cupcake Wars" which goes to show how many companies are out there. I've also researched local businesses & to my surprise....I'm sitting in THE most PRIME location to be able to service 2 cities with lots of cash-flow & no other competitors in the area. Plus I am only 20 minutes to the business district & amusement hubs.

I also have the knowledge not only to make extremely tasty, original & beautifully designed cupcakes but I also have a lot of business knowledge. I worked in some of the largest companies in the US & even the world. I've worked for my father's small company seeing how small business works. I also have had the privilege of getting to know a brilliant man who took a bankrupt company to an empire. Hell, I've even held just about every position between File Clerk to Chef. I was also offered Head Chef jobs for 4 different restaurants in 4 different states from repeat guests who were just amazed at what I was doing. I was even told by numerous management & chefs at the Grand Floridian that I could/should open my own place.

I know I have the knowledge to run a great business....I know I have the passion to run a great business....I know what it takes to run a great business....so....I'm going to open my own business!! I've already narrowed my company name down to two choices & I'm working on getting my logo designed. I have filled out some of different paperwork & am working on my business plan so I can get financing. Hopefully early 2013, I will be open for business!

Another Gold Moment

You all know the classic "Jingle Bells" written some many moons ago. I'm also pretty sure that you've heard personalized words to go along with the song, if not made up a few of your own. Well years ago, back when I was around 11 or 12, I too wrote my own set of lyrics to go with the tune. I then made it our family answering machine message during the holidays but had to censor damn day to the way at my parents request. All these years later, I still believe these lyrics hold true to today's standards & are a fun version of the song we all know. So here...a direct blast from my past & my first (that I can think of) verbal publishing of a song. This was the start of what leads to literally hundreds of songs I've written & even a few that I've had published. So as you read it, keep the sound of jingling bells in mind while reading.

"Message Tells"

Dashing through the streets
In a rag top Chevrolet
Gotta get to the mall
'Cause Christmas is on it's way

Wrapping Christmas presents
Or putting up Christmas lights
What fun it is to think of the bills
Later on at night *oh-no*

Jingle Bells, Feet Sure to Swell
Jingle all damn day
Leave your name & leave your number
And we'll get back to you right away...HAY!

Jingle Bells, Frost-bitten tails
Sneezing all the way
Leave a message at the sound of the tone
And say what you have to say...HAY!



Happy Holidays from our family to yours!!